Binkytowne

Happy Memorial Day

This is how we party in Binkytown    

Happy Memorial Day

This is how we party in Binkytown    

Wednesday Whatever

1) A big fat WHATEVER to me for sitting through American Idol last night. This show is for tweens- Not thirty something mothers who have better things to do than watch what's-her-name bat her eyelashes and do that open mouth smile thing, the What? You think I look amazing? I'm so surprised! (Not). What's up with that? Why do Randy and Paula always tell the women how stunning they look? No one ever says to the dudes- wow- you look hot tonight! They don't, I know, but that's not the point. Paula- who was jumping up and down doing her cheerleader clap last night while Taylor was singing- I've got your number. I know you say whatever Randy said first, just in a different way. The kids are too distracted by your riddiculous heaps of gold jewelry and your giant rings to notice but you can't fool me. Simon? I think he's naughty in a good way. Was naughty in a good way. I'm never watching that show again. After tonight. When hopefully what's-her-name and her fake eyelashes and fake hair won't win and I never have to hear that horrible song about her destiny ever again.

2) Barbados or whatever that horse's name is. I am absolutely an animal lover. I think it's terrible that the horse broke it's foot and I'm very excited that he's doing well. What's bothering me is that every news outlet in the world is reporting how he feels so great he's being very friendly with the phillies..wink wink. Oh my God. It's not enough that everywhere I look there are more attractive people with better love lives than mine. Now this horse is more attractive and more interested in getting busy than me. It's madness. I'm not being outdone by supermodels anymore, I've been outpaced by a horse.

   3) To the people who I won't name here who sent my husband a letter from an attorney (one who's office deals only with real estate and tax law so don't think I don't know your brother-in-law's cousin typed this up on company letterhead for you) because you were standing in the middle of a bike path. MrB rode around you on the grass to avoid you and your puppy who was uncontrolled, on a 3 foot leash and darted out in front of MrB. We are not paying for your vet bill. Take us to court. As Randy Jackson would say- Bring it! (Dawg)

Post Script: Oh AI- how I'm sorry that I doubted you! Last night watching Kat strut around while having to sing with that old stinky couldnt sing a note Meatloaf? I didn't know you had it in you. Prince? F yeah! Clay Aiken with that riddiculous hairdo? This was better than anything I'd pay to see. I still love you. See you next year.  Don't be mad.   

Wednesday Whatever

1) A big fat WHATEVER to me for sitting through American Idol last night. This show is for tweens- Not thirty something mothers who have better things to do than watch what's-her-name bat her eyelashes and do that open mouth smile thing, the What? You think I look amazing? I'm so surprised! (Not). What's up with that? Why do Randy and Paula always tell the women how stunning they look? No one ever says to the dudes- wow- you look hot tonight! They don't, I know, but that's not the point. Paula- who was jumping up and down doing her cheerleader clap last night while Taylor was singing- I've got your number. I know you say whatever Randy said first, just in a different way. The kids are too distracted by your riddiculous heaps of gold jewelry and your giant rings to notice but you can't fool me. Simon? I think he's naughty in a good way. Was naughty in a good way. I'm never watching that show again. After tonight. When hopefully what's-her-name and her fake eyelashes and fake hair won't win and I never have to hear that horrible song about her destiny ever again.

2) Barbados or whatever that horse's name is. I am absolutely an animal lover. I think it's terrible that the horse broke it's foot and I'm very excited that he's doing well. What's bothering me is that every news outlet in the world is reporting how he feels so great he's being very friendly with the phillies..wink wink. Oh my God. It's not enough that everywhere I look there are more attractive people with better love lives than mine. Now this horse is more attractive and more interested in getting busy than me. It's madness. I'm not being outdone by supermodels anymore, I've been outpaced by a horse.

   3) To the people who I won't name here who sent my husband a letter from an attorney (one who's office deals only with real estate and tax law so don't think I don't know your brother-in-law's cousin typed this up on company letterhead for you) because you were standing in the middle of a bike path. MrB rode around you on the grass to avoid you and your puppy who was uncontrolled, on a 3 foot leash and darted out in front of MrB. We are not paying for your vet bill. Take us to court. As Randy Jackson would say- Bring it! (Dawg)

Post Script: Oh AI- how I'm sorry that I doubted you! Last night watching Kat strut around while having to sing with that old stinky couldnt sing a note Meatloaf? I didn't know you had it in you. Prince? F yeah! Clay Aiken with that riddiculous hairdo? This was better than anything I'd pay to see. I still love you. See you next year.  Don't be mad.   

Prescription for this damn cold that I get every 4-6 weeks

1) Zinc lozenges- one every 4 hours or so. Must be taken immediately upon the tingling sensation in my nose that alerts me something is up. I swear I'm going to invest in these things. Um, well, I will one day if when I actually have money that I can invest.. Cuts the sick time in half. They are beyond brilliant.

2) 2 ibuprofen every 4-6 hours

3) 1 sudafed. Even though you feel terrible, if you can wrangle it away from your pharmacist - restrain yourself from making up a quick batch of crystal meth since it must be so easy to do that you have to sign your life away to get your hands on a box.

4) 1 Benadryl at bedtime if my nose has become a faucet and I think I'm going to have to spend the night with kleenex stuffed up my nostrils

5) 1 Green tea latte to counter-act the Benadryl which continues to knock me on my ass for half the next day

6) Tissues with lotion- not the regular kind, those will leave you looking like Rudolph after he's been on a bender

7) 1 cup of screaming hot water with lemon, honey and a little sugar for sipping

8) Kisses from the booger covered little man who now that he has this cold, wants to kiss me all the time 

9) Silly photos of booger faced little man to cheer me up

 

 

Prescription for this damn cold that I get every 4-6 weeks

1) Zinc lozenges- one every 4 hours or so. Must be taken immediately upon the tingling sensation in my nose that alerts me something is up. I swear I'm going to invest in these things. Um, well, I will one day if when I actually have money that I can invest.. Cuts the sick time in half. They are beyond brilliant.

2) 2 ibuprofen every 4-6 hours

3) 1 sudafed. Even though you feel terrible, if you can wrangle it away from your pharmacist - restrain yourself from making up a quick batch of crystal meth since it must be so easy to do that you have to sign your life away to get your hands on a box.

4) 1 Benadryl at bedtime if my nose has become a faucet and I think I'm going to have to spend the night with kleenex stuffed up my nostrils

5) 1 Green tea latte to counter-act the Benadryl which continues to knock me on my ass for half the next day

6) Tissues with lotion- not the regular kind, those will leave you looking like Rudolph after he's been on a bender

7) 1 cup of screaming hot water with lemon, honey and a little sugar for sipping

8) Kisses from the booger covered little man who now that he has this cold, wants to kiss me all the time 

9) Silly photos of booger faced little man to cheer me up

 

 

Which way to the nearest closet?

I cry at weddings and at funerals. I cry when my feelings get hurt or when I'm really angry, which I'm happy to say isn't very often. I cry when I read things tragic or beautiful. Shedding tears is a normal and healthy expression of emotion. My problem is that crying for me is neither healthy or normal.

As a child if I didn't want to go to swimming lessons I would cry. Mad at my brother? I'd cry. Fall down and hurt myself? I'd cry. Of course, that is normal behavior for a child, but at some point a child needs to be taught to deal with emotions and feelings. Those things weren't openly discussed in my house. Either they didn't know how, or my parents didn't feel it was important, but at some point I think they accepted it as who I was.

In fifth grade at girl scout camp we had an art project. We were told to create our own Native American names that we would use at camp instead of our real ones. We were asked to use nature as our inspiration and to make name tags created out of big flat cross sections of logs, hung with thick yarn. There were macaroni noodles and glue for spelling out letters and paint galore. I chose the name waterfall. To me it was beautiful- a waterfall is fluid and blue and gorgeous and soft and powerful all at once. I worked on my name tag all day. I wore it home proudly to show my family at dinnertime. My sister taunted me- "You sure are a waterfall. HA HA HA HA HA." Devastating. I would like to say that in that moment I gained deep insight and resolve and personal strength, but I didn't. I cried. I kept crying after that, only now I was embarrassed about it.

Today I committed what I consider to be the ultimate no-no. I cried at work in front of my boss. I'm so horrified. I met with her early this morning after being out for two days with a sick child (I was going to say sick baby, but he's not a baby anymore and I have to stop saying that). I've been worked up, waiting for months to hear if I'm being offered this job I applied for and interviewed extensively for. I really thought Id hear something this week but it's Friday and my phone is not ringing. I also have PMS but I will be damned if I will ever admit out loud that it has any power over me, even though it totally does, despite my healthy dose of happy pills.

The woman who cries at work when she gets feedback that she doesn't agree with (that would be me, by the way) appears as weak, even to other women in my corporate culture. This may not be true everywhere, but it's true here. Emotions, where work is concerned are not part of our language. I work among great women- strong leaders, positions of authority, excellent managers, but personal feelings get checked at the door. There is an expression we throw around here- put your big girl panties on and deal with it. Technically it's a joke, but really, it's the standard.

There are times when crying at work is appropriate, but doing it when you are unhappy with something someone said is not one of them. During the six million interviews I've had for this job I want I've had to describe myself, my style. I've never been able to say emotional, even though that's a huge part of who I am. It's part of the package. I'ts like I'm in the closet. A closet emotiono. Keeping this part of myself closed off to all but those closest to me. Except when I get outed by my endocrine system like I did today.

Its such a slippery slope. I started out surprised that she was coming down so hard on me for something that I perceived to be so small, that gave way to disappointment. I felt this was in some way deliberate and an attempt to undermine my confidence. This person wasn't exactly supportive about my going for this job. After that came frustration. It wasn't just one thing I was being hammered about, there were more instances where she felt I hadn't met her expectations- I disagreed. About this time self doubt began to creep in. This is where I'm starting to lose it but I'm still holding it together by a thread. We both know my new possible job depends on a good recommendation from her. She's pushing me to tell her why I look like I disagree and I'm politely saying It's fine, lets move on but she's pushing and pushing. In my mind I'm already hearing her "Can not handle stressful situations. Would not recommend for position" which is NOT true. I'm thinking don't cry don't cry and she's staring at me waiting for an answer and I cracked. Tears started to flow. There I am. Crying. In my boss's office over nothing that even matters and I have no good explanation as to why I am crying. I don't even know myself. All I do know is that I have just handed her a reason not to believe I've got the backbone for this promotion I want.

I know one isolated incidence isn't going to determine my future at this company, still I can't help feeling that here I sit, exposed, with my big girl panties around my ankles.   

Which way to the nearest closet?

I cry at weddings and at funerals. I cry when my feelings get hurt or when I'm really angry, which I'm happy to say isn't very often. I cry when I read things tragic or beautiful. Shedding tears is a normal and healthy expression of emotion. My problem is that crying for me is neither healthy or normal.

As a child if I didn't want to go to swimming lessons I would cry. Mad at my brother? I'd cry. Fall down and hurt myself? I'd cry. Of course, that is normal behavior for a child, but at some point a child needs to be taught to deal with emotions and feelings. Those things weren't openly discussed in my house. Either they didn't know how, or my parents didn't feel it was important, but at some point I think they accepted it as who I was.

In fifth grade at girl scout camp we had an art project. We were told to create our own Native American names that we would use at camp instead of our real ones. We were asked to use nature as our inspiration and to make name tags created out of big flat cross sections of logs, hung with thick yarn. There were macaroni noodles and glue for spelling out letters and paint galore. I chose the name waterfall. To me it was beautiful- a waterfall is fluid and blue and gorgeous and soft and powerful all at once. I worked on my name tag all day. I wore it home proudly to show my family at dinnertime. My sister taunted me- "You sure are a waterfall. HA HA HA HA HA." Devastating. I would like to say that in that moment I gained deep insight and resolve and personal strength, but I didn't. I cried. I kept crying after that, only now I was embarrassed about it.

Today I committed what I consider to be the ultimate no-no. I cried at work in front of my boss. I'm so horrified. I met with her early this morning after being out for two days with a sick child (I was going to say sick baby, but he's not a baby anymore and I have to stop saying that). I've been worked up, waiting for months to hear if I'm being offered this job I applied for and interviewed extensively for. I really thought Id hear something this week but it's Friday and my phone is not ringing. I also have PMS but I will be damned if I will ever admit out loud that it has any power over me, even though it totally does, despite my healthy dose of happy pills.

The woman who cries at work when she gets feedback that she doesn't agree with (that would be me, by the way) appears as weak, even to other women in my corporate culture. This may not be true everywhere, but it's true here. Emotions, where work is concerned are not part of our language. I work among great women- strong leaders, positions of authority, excellent managers, but personal feelings get checked at the door. There is an expression we throw around here- put your big girl panties on and deal with it. Technically it's a joke, but really, it's the standard.

There are times when crying at work is appropriate, but doing it when you are unhappy with something someone said is not one of them. During the six million interviews I've had for this job I want I've had to describe myself, my style. I've never been able to say emotional, even though that's a huge part of who I am. It's part of the package. I'ts like I'm in the closet. A closet emotiono. Keeping this part of myself closed off to all but those closest to me. Except when I get outed by my endocrine system like I did today.

Its such a slippery slope. I started out surprised that she was coming down so hard on me for something that I perceived to be so small, that gave way to disappointment. I felt this was in some way deliberate and an attempt to undermine my confidence. This person wasn't exactly supportive about my going for this job. After that came frustration. It wasn't just one thing I was being hammered about, there were more instances where she felt I hadn't met her expectations- I disagreed. About this time self doubt began to creep in. This is where I'm starting to lose it but I'm still holding it together by a thread. We both know my new possible job depends on a good recommendation from her. She's pushing me to tell her why I look like I disagree and I'm politely saying It's fine, lets move on but she's pushing and pushing. In my mind I'm already hearing her "Can not handle stressful situations. Would not recommend for position" which is NOT true. I'm thinking don't cry don't cry and she's staring at me waiting for an answer and I cracked. Tears started to flow. There I am. Crying. In my boss's office over nothing that even matters and I have no good explanation as to why I am crying. I don't even know myself. All I do know is that I have just handed her a reason not to believe I've got the backbone for this promotion I want.

I know one isolated incidence isn't going to determine my future at this company, still I can't help feeling that here I sit, exposed, with my big girl panties around my ankles.   

Wednesday Whatever

#1) Ashley Simspon: Does anybody really care if Ashley Simpson got a nose job? She's already got a record deal she doesn't deserve, fame and money just because she's related to Jessica. Why does she need it? What does she have to gain from a nose job? An elusive modeling gig? Whatever.

#2) Chris Daughtry: Come on dude. Six months ago you were working at a car repair shop wearing a blue polo shirt to work everyday. Now you think you are so hot that when an established rock band who you ripped off covered on A.I. offers you a job, you have to think about it for a week?! TAKE IT. You aren't that good. If you were, maybe you wouldn't have been voted off, you dig?

#3) Britney. Please stop. This is serious. This is so disturbing on so many levels. If I had cameras following me 24 hours a day, I'd get busted doing some stupid shit but I'd like to think it would be me picking my nose or singing really loud in my car by myself - badly. Not involving the care, or not so much, of a baby or two babies. What's the point in having a full time staff if you still can't manage to strap your baby in the car seat? Real life people do it every day with NO NANNIES. Get a grip!

Wednesday Whatever

#1) Ashley Simspon: Does anybody really care if Ashley Simpson got a nose job? She's already got a record deal she doesn't deserve, fame and money just because she's related to Jessica. Why does she need it? What does she have to gain from a nose job? An elusive modeling gig? Whatever.

#2) Chris Daughtry: Come on dude. Six months ago you were working at a car repair shop wearing a blue polo shirt to work everyday. Now you think you are so hot that when an established rock band who you ripped off covered on A.I. offers you a job, you have to think about it for a week?! TAKE IT. You aren't that good. If you were, maybe you wouldn't have been voted off, you dig?

#3) Britney. Please stop. This is serious. This is so disturbing on so many levels. If I had cameras following me 24 hours a day, I'd get busted doing some stupid shit but I'd like to think it would be me picking my nose or singing really loud in my car by myself - badly. Not involving the care, or not so much, of a baby or two babies. What's the point in having a full time staff if you still can't manage to strap your baby in the car seat? Real life people do it every day with NO NANNIES. Get a grip!