Binkytowne

A month later; Still the best ten minutes and getting better

I wrote this early in July. I've had a few good moments in between now and then, but when I look back, I still think it was the best. I can recall that same sense of calm that I did that day floating with my baby. It makes you wonder how it gets any better.

Then a friend sends an email and says she really liked it and among other things, mentions "I'm glad you're out there".

Mrs.Chicken continues to not only produce stellar writing but she never fails to spread the love.

Welcome back Mrs. C. I'm glad you're out there too. Thank You.

A month later; Still the best ten minutes and getting better

I wrote this early in July. I've had a few good moments in between now and then, but when I look back, I still think it was the best. I can recall that same sense of calm that I did that day floating with my baby. It makes you wonder how it gets any better.

Then a friend sends an email and says she really liked it and among other things, mentions "I'm glad you're out there".

Mrs.Chicken continues to not only produce stellar writing but she never fails to spread the love.

Welcome back Mrs. C. I'm glad you're out there too. Thank You.

Because she says so

Yes, I am disappointed that I am not going to Blogher.

No, I am not big enough to be happy for those attending.

Nor, do I want to read the blow by blow accounts of how fun & (fill in the blank)it is.

Therefore, I am taking a few days off, sending my kid to school and putting away the boxes that are still laying around from my move two years ago and um, sweating and other very important things.

So you can see I will be VERY busy and can't possibly be reading blogs or writing anything.

Plus, Binky says I rock so I don't have to go to any stupid conference.

Have a lovely weekend. See you Tuesday.

But not before I say Binky, not only is your name dear to my heart, but you write circles around me in your sleep with one hand tied around your back. Thank you.

(Also, if you happen to stop by and know of any cool blogs that don't involve women at Blogher that I should read, please leave me a comment. Just in case I'm all talk).

 

Because she says so

Yes, I am disappointed that I am not going to Blogher.

No, I am not big enough to be happy for those attending.

Nor, do I want to read the blow by blow accounts of how fun & (fill in the blank)it is.

Therefore, I am taking a few days off, sending my kid to school and putting away the boxes that are still laying around from my move two years ago and um, sweating and other very important things.

So you can see I will be VERY busy and can't possibly be reading blogs or writing anything.

Plus, Binky says I rock so I don't have to go to any stupid conference.

Have a lovely weekend. See you Tuesday.

But not before I say Binky, not only is your name dear to my heart, but you write circles around me in your sleep with one hand tied around your back. Thank you.

(Also, if you happen to stop by and know of any cool blogs that don't involve women at Blogher that I should read, please leave me a comment. Just in case I'm all talk).

 

Before I start burning insense and dressing in long flowy skirts

My husband got a call from an old coworker at Company A. He left there about a year and a half ago to pursue a better opportunity at Company B.

He likes his job. Had no plans to leave until the phone rang. In an amazing turn of events, a new hot shot at Company A has heard about everything he did for them before he left and wants to lure him back. Lure is not a strong enough word. They've had a couple of talks and they are at the point where this Company A hot shot has dangled signing bonuses, yearly bonuses, a big fat raise and the opportunity for him to review the existing team and tell them where he thinks he fits in best. When does that ever happen to anybody?   

This is fantastic and all, but you see, I had a plan.

The catch (because there is always a catch) is that there will be global travel involved. The frequency and duration is yet to be determined. This is great for my husband, the doors that would open up for him could potentially be amazing. The doors that would close for me could be loud and heavy.

I called an astrologer two weeks ago. Prior to The Phone Call. This is not something I have ever done before but I have always wanted to. I believe that there is a pattern and rhythm to the universe that we don't or can't or won't see or understand. I know I am exactly what every book written about a Libra has ever said, but that's all I knew. But I saw this endorsement from BMC and that girl is a straight shooter and the astrologer had a website - a fancy one-so I thought what the hell- big life changing decision looming, let's just give it a whirl.

I spent over an hour talking to this woman who is just what I was hoping for- all science and no-crystal- ball-having-sash-on-head-wearing gypsy. (Although, she could have been wearing one for all I know, since we were on the phone, but I doubt it.) She told me high level things that made sense that I probably knew and then speculated on some things that I wouldn't have known but were spookily very true. She also focused on what was happening in my stars today. She said a big change was coming to my home and family life. Only she didn't say it like that, she said it like HOLD ON TO YOUR HAT LADY A BIG CHANGE WAS COMING.

I really want my husband to be happy. I want him to be fulfilled and challenged and of course, well compensated for his hard work. I also don't want to have a nervous breakdown, with a three year old and a possible baby on the way while he's on a flight over the Atlantic. Where do you draw the line between sacrifice- sucking it up for the good of the family and comfort- not making a potential really exciting change because you are afraid to take on too much?

When I started throwing caution to the wind and started giving it up more than once a month in the hopes of having another baby (Three times! In two weeks! Call Guinness book of world records!) taking care of said baby and my other baby and my dog solo for any stretch of time was not in my plan. I guess it could be, but damn it, it wasn't.

Oh the other thing she said, my challenge, my life lesson is to let things unfold as they are meant to and stop controlling every little thing. Huh. If anyone knows how to do that, I'd be happy to know.

Before I start burning insense and dressing in long flowy skirts

My husband got a call from an old coworker at Company A. He left there about a year and a half ago to pursue a better opportunity at Company B.

He likes his job. Had no plans to leave until the phone rang. In an amazing turn of events, a new hot shot at Company A has heard about everything he did for them before he left and wants to lure him back. Lure is not a strong enough word. They've had a couple of talks and they are at the point where this Company A hot shot has dangled signing bonuses, yearly bonuses, a big fat raise and the opportunity for him to review the existing team and tell them where he thinks he fits in best. When does that ever happen to anybody?   

This is fantastic and all, but you see, I had a plan.

The catch (because there is always a catch) is that there will be global travel involved. The frequency and duration is yet to be determined. This is great for my husband, the doors that would open up for him could potentially be amazing. The doors that would close for me could be loud and heavy.

I called an astrologer two weeks ago. Prior to The Phone Call. This is not something I have ever done before but I have always wanted to. I believe that there is a pattern and rhythm to the universe that we don't or can't or won't see or understand. I know I am exactly what every book written about a Libra has ever said, but that's all I knew. But I saw this endorsement from BMC and that girl is a straight shooter and the astrologer had a website - a fancy one-so I thought what the hell- big life changing decision looming, let's just give it a whirl.

I spent over an hour talking to this woman who is just what I was hoping for- all science and no-crystal- ball-having-sash-on-head-wearing gypsy. (Although, she could have been wearing one for all I know, since we were on the phone, but I doubt it.) She told me high level things that made sense that I probably knew and then speculated on some things that I wouldn't have known but were spookily very true. She also focused on what was happening in my stars today. She said a big change was coming to my home and family life. Only she didn't say it like that, she said it like HOLD ON TO YOUR HAT LADY A BIG CHANGE WAS COMING.

I really want my husband to be happy. I want him to be fulfilled and challenged and of course, well compensated for his hard work. I also don't want to have a nervous breakdown, with a three year old and a possible baby on the way while he's on a flight over the Atlantic. Where do you draw the line between sacrifice- sucking it up for the good of the family and comfort- not making a potential really exciting change because you are afraid to take on too much?

When I started throwing caution to the wind and started giving it up more than once a month in the hopes of having another baby (Three times! In two weeks! Call Guinness book of world records!) taking care of said baby and my other baby and my dog solo for any stretch of time was not in my plan. I guess it could be, but damn it, it wasn't.

Oh the other thing she said, my challenge, my life lesson is to let things unfold as they are meant to and stop controlling every little thing. Huh. If anyone knows how to do that, I'd be happy to know.

Needing

I want this, I need that. I want juice. I need my Beetle. I want my other binky. The list goes on and on. This past weekend I swore I heard the words "I want and I need" come out of my childs mouth more than 50 times by the time the clock struck six-thirty. In the morning.

Wanting is a struggle. Needing something is not the same as wanting it, but that's a concept that is too broad for such a little mind. When he says he needs a cookie, he really thinks he does. I should know better.

I want a lot of things. I feel like a revolving door of shopping bags. Not the fun kind, with a well fitting pair of over expensive (but well fitting!)jeans in them. Mine have graham crackers and shower curtains and swim trunks in a 3T for next year that were only $3.50 and bottles of water and paper towels and laundry detergent.

The division of labor in my house is such that my husband takes care of big house items and I handle the routine day to day operation of things. That includes all the domestic things we need in addition to anything required for our son. It works fine for us and I don't mind being in charge of it, but I feel like this constant consuming has warped my sense of what I really need. I need the mega pack of soap because it's on sale. I need a shiny gift bag instead of plain old wrapping paper because it makes my life easier. I need Thai food because I don't feel like cooking.

None of this is true.

It doesn't even stop there. One peek into my in box reveals emails from Piperl*me, A*di*das and it*nes. I need shoes, hats to keep the sun off my face when I run and audio books for under $10.00.

No I don't. I want them. And sometimes I order them, (oh, the fun. I don't even have to lug it home. It just shows up!) but I find the anticipation and the momentary thrill of opening the box is always greater than what I've got in my hands.

A co-worker recently had another baby. Her new baby, she says, is a diva. She screams whenever and where ever they take her. She told me she looked at her husband and asked him, tell me again why we decided to do this?

My husband has signed on and the official 'trying' has begun. I officially have baby-lust when I see photos of chunky little people in onesies and announcements, I don't just think I do, sort of, a little. It's palpable. It's real.

But the fear is real too; What if I am once again confusing a want for a need? What if I dream of baby, but I wake up in the spoken-of and monotonous reality of life so very fast. What if what I purchase isn't as exciting as the advertisements promise it will be?

I know this is last-chance-to-change-your-mind-worst-case-scenario-ing. Just because I wonder it doesn't even mean I really think it will be.

I just need to ask.

 

Needing

I want this, I need that. I want juice. I need my Beetle. I want my other binky. The list goes on and on. This past weekend I swore I heard the words "I want and I need" come out of my childs mouth more than 50 times by the time the clock struck six-thirty. In the morning.

Wanting is a struggle. Needing something is not the same as wanting it, but that's a concept that is too broad for such a little mind. When he says he needs a cookie, he really thinks he does. I should know better.

I want a lot of things. I feel like a revolving door of shopping bags. Not the fun kind, with a well fitting pair of over expensive (but well fitting!)jeans in them. Mine have graham crackers and shower curtains and swim trunks in a 3T for next year that were only $3.50 and bottles of water and paper towels and laundry detergent.

The division of labor in my house is such that my husband takes care of big house items and I handle the routine day to day operation of things. That includes all the domestic things we need in addition to anything required for our son. It works fine for us and I don't mind being in charge of it, but I feel like this constant consuming has warped my sense of what I really need. I need the mega pack of soap because it's on sale. I need a shiny gift bag instead of plain old wrapping paper because it makes my life easier. I need Thai food because I don't feel like cooking.

None of this is true.

It doesn't even stop there. One peek into my in box reveals emails from Piperl*me, A*di*das and it*nes. I need shoes, hats to keep the sun off my face when I run and audio books for under $10.00.

No I don't. I want them. And sometimes I order them, (oh, the fun. I don't even have to lug it home. It just shows up!) but I find the anticipation and the momentary thrill of opening the box is always greater than what I've got in my hands.

A co-worker recently had another baby. Her new baby, she says, is a diva. She screams whenever and where ever they take her. She told me she looked at her husband and asked him, tell me again why we decided to do this?

My husband has signed on and the official 'trying' has begun. I officially have baby-lust when I see photos of chunky little people in onesies and announcements, I don't just think I do, sort of, a little. It's palpable. It's real.

But the fear is real too; What if I am once again confusing a want for a need? What if I dream of baby, but I wake up in the spoken-of and monotonous reality of life so very fast. What if what I purchase isn't as exciting as the advertisements promise it will be?

I know this is last-chance-to-change-your-mind-worst-case-scenario-ing. Just because I wonder it doesn't even mean I really think it will be.

I just need to ask.

 

Blogher or Bust

Except less BlogHer and more Bust.

I cancelled my reservation at the W today so if anyone hasn't made one yet and wants to, CALL THEM NOW.

Work trips and family obligations made that weekend in July too hard to navigate. I wish this was happening in February when everyone (i.e., me) had nothing better to do.

Wah.

Blogher or Bust

Except less BlogHer and more Bust.

I cancelled my reservation at the W today so if anyone hasn't made one yet and wants to, CALL THEM NOW.

Work trips and family obligations made that weekend in July too hard to navigate. I wish this was happening in February when everyone (i.e., me) had nothing better to do.

Wah.