You know how you can be watching a movie, snacks in one hand, remote in the other and for whatever reason you decide you need to fast forward (maybe it's because this is the second time you are trying to watch Sweeney Todd and Helena Bonham Carter is freaking you out and can't sing a lick and why on earth did people say they liked this movie?) so you grab the remote and OOPS you pause it. Wrong button. You press play and then OOPS you automatically hit the fast forward x2 and everything starts to move in hyper-warp speed.
Yeah, someone hit the pause button.
I'm sitting here, less than three weeks from my due date and I can see it coming- THE BIG CHANGE. It's on the horizon, just over the ledge, on the next page, the next frame forward-etc. I'm almost there and I know any minute someone is going to come along and hit that other button and BAM I'm going to skyrocketing quicker than a ray of light into my soon-to-be-future.
I'm gigantic and I'm sore from my middle down pretty much all day every day and shaving my legs is now completely out of the question but I'm not begging to be released from the vice grip of pregnancy. I think I'm really going to miss it this time when it's gone. I'm used to the elbow jabs where my stomach should be. I love it that I wake up and think where's the baby before I even question what day of the week I'm on, only to be reminded that he's here or there when I feel a shift or a flutter and I close my eyes again for a minute, my hand on my belly.
I'm watching my son, puttering around my house as usual, making dinner, cleaning up, going to bed, getting up, doing it all over again and it seems surreal to me that in a few short weeks there will be another family member in the house, I will be at home all day, everyone's routines will come to a grinding halt and the life I have today will be out the window. I'm really pretty oblivious to it and not at all desperate for it to arrive.
I'm anxious to meet this boy child but after so many days and weeks and months of waiting and counting down I'm thinking- would it be so bad to have another month? I could go another month..but I know my days are numbered. I'm going to hide that remote deep in a couch cushion.
Just try and find it.
