Him: Excited and very proud and talking very fast: Mom! Guess what!? Today I was at school and I stuck a bean up my nose, really far up there and I coudln't get it out and so I was trying to use my finger.
Me: Hold the phone. Did I just hear him say he stuck a bean up his nose? Wait. What did you stick up your nose?
Him: A bean.
Me: A bean?
Him: A BEAN (duh)
Me: You put a bean up your nose?
Him: YES. Up my nose but I couldn't get it out so I blew really hard and it shot out.
Me: What did you do with it?
Him: Put it back in the sensory table.
~~~~~~~~~
Him: I want to go to the Haircut shop every weekend. (Because he gets a prize there)
Me: That's nice. Also not going to happen.
Him: You never get your hair cut.
Me: I do, I just do it before I pick you up from school.
Him: Dad doesn't get haircuts either. He has no hair.
Me: That's true.
Him: He only has eyeballs.
