Over at The Stir I pitch three story ideas a week to my Editor. One week I included a pitch about circumcision, thinking it would probably be rejected as more of a pregnancy-related topic. She said sure, go ahead, but cautioned me, I'd better be ready for the comments.
The day came to write my post, I opened my laptop and because I like to procrastinate, I decided to cruise through twitter first. I saw and read what was happening to Jill Haskins (@fierceandfiesty) and how she was being cyber-bullied by a group of intactivists in the most cruel of ways after losing her son. I read the comments and the tweets and how they were blaming her for her son's death because her family chose to have Joshua circumcised. I thought about it all, emailed my editor and asked if she wanted me to postpone the circumcision post. She said no, but gave me the green light to pull it if I didn't feel comfortable with the timing.
I went ahead and wrote it. It's a very balanced piece, if you ask me. It doesn't knock any other parent's choices, it is my perspective on the issue and why we chose to do what we did. Because it was written for the Stir I didn't go into my deal about how really, at the essence of all of this, it's not your business to know and how if you are a parent, you should worry about your own kid's penis and like, stop with all the judging already! Find a hobby! I left that part out.
I knew people felt strongly about the issue and I knew the post would get comments and that a lot of them, maybe even most of them would disagree with me, but I wrote it anyway. Within a couple of hours the comments poured in. Hundreds of them. Throwing around phrases like "child molester" and "genital mutilation", I was called vain and ignorant. Someone actually likened circumsicion to giving your baby Botox. Studies were cited! Comments were littered with ALL CAPS and EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!! Dozens of comments were from men, whom I am quite sure never, ever, read my baby column over at The Stir before and have not visited since.
Last week I got an email from CNN, wanting to know if I wanted to talk to them about our choice for an article they were writing on circumcision. I did want to talk to them, but after all of that? I didn't want to attract ugliness on a national stage. When I asked myself, was there anything that anyone wrote in any of the comments on my post that changed my mind about the issue or made me feel like we did the wrong thing? Or that I, in any way, hurt my kids? There wasn't.
So I called them. I practiced restraint. I only answered the questions I was asked and I didn't go into any more detail than I already had on the Stir post. I didn't rant, vent, express remorse or call anyone out. Madison Park wrote a great, informative, non-inflammatory article on the issue that published today. She really heard what I had to say and she presented it as such. I was worried I would be misconstrued or that my words would be twisted, but they were not and for that I'm thankful.
(It's been a couple of hours since the post went live on CNN and there are already more than 800 comments. I haven't read a single one. It's all rainbows and unicorns up in here!)
