Can I have a cookie?
No. Cookies are not bedtime snacks.
BUT I WANT A COOKIE. You used to let me have cookies!
Yes, and now you have a cavity. No cookies for bedtime snacks.
PLEEEEEEEEEEASE???????
No.
{ 5 minutes of negotiation including discussions about the health and wellness benefits of bananas over goldfish crackers and 2 additional minutes shooting down requests for JUST ONE hersheys kiss }
FINE! I'll eat a banana! If you give me some goldfish.
{ Weary mother trudges downstairs to procure goldfish and a banana. Only, what the hell? Who ate all the freaking bananas? WHO DIDN'T TELL ME THEY ATE THE LAST BANANA? I hate that.
In order to avoid another 7 minute drawn-out discussion of what will be acceptable to eat as a bedtime snack in absence of the banana it took 7 minutes to convince him to have, weary mother breaks off a tiny piece of a chocolate chip cookie, purposefully looking for a spot with no chocolate in it and trudges back upstairs }
Nobody told me we were out of bananas (said for the benefit of the not-tired boy's father, who was within earshot and definitely the one who ate the last banana AND DIDN'T TELL ME. (I hate that)) so I brought you this TINY piece of cookie.
Boy rejoices.
Weary mother tries to hold on to some shred of credibility by announcing the cookie has no chocolate in it. At all! Boy settles in to be read to while consuming his bed time snack of goldfish crackers and fraction of chocolate chip cookie, minus the chocolate. Or so I think.
Mom, mom, mom...
What?
This cookie has a chocolate chip in it.
He holds it up so I can see the miniscule bit of chocoalte floating in the inch by inch piece of broken off cookie in his hand. He waves it in the air in a triumphant circular motion and smugly takes another bite.
You lose again, mom.
Weary mother agrees.
